My Parents had told me to not get married until I…
Assalamu ‘alaykum. My parents had told me to not get married until i finished my college diploma program. I agreed and waited, rejecting multiple prospects to stay focused. After finishing my college program and expressing my wishes to “start looking” and get married, they said no because a college diploma is not enough, and that I have to have a university degree. What do I tell them? JazakumAllahu khair.
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Wa alaykum salaam my dear sister.
May Allah Almighty grant you better than you dream…Ameen.
Our parents are a great presence of strength and wisdom in our lives. In our young and vibrant eras; we at times feel we may know better and may tend to take our parents authority over us as oppressive, whilst they only mean protection and our well being. With this introduction I hope settle the waters regarding the stance that has caused them to share their advice.
We definitely live in troubled times where finding wholesome spouses is extremely difficult and in many cases females are left separated or divorced without any income. It is with this pretense that I have imagined them sharing you their words…And Allah knows best.
My advice to you would be to be follow your parents advice if:
1. You are young and still have a few peak years that people normally consider a good age for marriage.
2. You do not fear falling into sin.
If the above two conditions are not met; then I advise that you share your concerns with your parents either directly, or via someone they respect and make it clear that it is matter of religion and religion takes precedence.
As for now, share with your parents the Prophetic advice encouraging parents not to forbid their daughters from marrying those who are practicing and possess good character. Remember to always use the best of words with your parents and exercise true patience with them, especially in the manner you address and speak to them.
I pray this sheds some light.
And Allah knows best.
Shaykh,
What advice would you give a man close to his 40′s who’s going crazy after being single for too long but yet worried that after inshaa-Allaah graduating this year, unsure whether he’d have the income to support a wife? I really do fear falling in to sin and my parents are being obstructive.
Thank you.
sis. invaluable advice from brother shk sajid.
i have seen many parents who turned their daughters into old age due to thiere own wishes most of them are crying bcaz now thay have all kinna degrees but no body is offering alliance and girls become too old & decrepit finally they turned thier daughters insane /histerioc type stiuation.
so pl ifd you reach over 20 do not waste time. tell ur parents clearly that they get a good alliance & get u married in 2-3 years along with that u can keep study going on.
Anwar.
me too, my parents do the same thing to me